7 years ago I was referred to a specialist in Ottawa to attempt to find an answer to my back pain. Pain that was caused by a terrible accident at a gymnastics competition in Buffalo in May of 2017. After 5 years of specialists and scans the cause of my anguish was finally found. An MRI and CT scan was all it took.

2 years after my diagnosis, I am still riddled with regret over an unsent email draft to a specialist who could have found the problem early on. But due to his negligence, I will forever live with a disability that has changed every aspect of my life.

The purpose of my story is not to point out the flaws of this specialist, but rather raise awareness on advocating for yourself in the medical world, especially as a young woman.

Here is the email.

Dear [Name of specialist]

I hope you are well.

I wanted to reach out to you to communicate some of my concerns and feelings regarding some of our past encounters. I came to see you nearly six years ago as a result of the tremendous pain I was experiencing in my back. I came to you in search of either a diagnosis or at minimum, something to ease the pain. When I came to see you, I was under the impression that given your expertise, particularly in regards to athletes and their related injuries, you would be the best fit to help me with my issues. Instead, I feel as though I was dismissed, overlooked and not believed. This email is not meant as an attack, or to be read as aggressive in any manner. Instead, I invite you to listen to my case, and use it to better your practice regarding your patients’ feelings. 

I feel as though as a young female patient, my pain was disregarded given that you felt it was a result of my anxiety. The first time I told you my pain was at a 10 out of 10, your immediate response was to tell me that there was no way, as I wouldn’t be walking, despite the fact that I was in the worst pain I have ever felt. While it is true that I have an anxiety disorder, I hope you can understand how damaging it is as a mental health patient to be told that your pain is all in your head. From what I understood, I felt as though your solution was that if I can get my anxiety “under control”, then my pain would go away. This was obviously not the case. You told me that there was no need for further testing on my back pain since you were firm on your conclusion that the pain was anxiety related. 

Attached to this email are my MRI and CT scan results that have been conducted. As you can see, there are several physical and very real issues with my back. My pain was never a result of my anxiety, but instead, because there were real underlying ailments in my back that were causing the pain I was experiencing, and have furthermore, left me with permanent disabilities and mobility impairments. 

During our appointments you made your credentials quite clear, informing myself and my family of your extensive education, including your Sports Medicine Fellowship completed at Harvard. At this time, I was still a high performance athlete, looking to get back into my sport. You made it known that treating athletes like myself was your specialty. Due to the lack of treatment I received, I was never able to return to gymnastics and had to give up my sport permanently. I truly hope my case was the exception of your care, and not the model.

Again, the underlying message of this email is not to attack you, or your practice. Instead, I want to stress the importance of validating your patients’ issues and listening to them regardless of what you might be certain of. Though you may have been certain that my pain was a result of my anxiety, and that is a valid option to consider, I wish you had also considered the other possibilities so I could have been treated sooner. I feel as though I was medically gaslit into believing my pain was all in my head, and while that may not have been your intent, it is important to me that I communicate this feeling to you as it has greatly affected me over the last six years. 

I hope this email has forced you to think about how it is that you encounter and validate your patients, more specifically your young female patients. While I understand that mistakes can be made, I invite you to use my case to rethink your methods, and I appreciate your time nonetheless. 

Respectfully, 

Mia Traplin

Attached below are the MRI and CT results from late 2022, to early 2023.

These findings show that in the 6 months between scan 1 and scan 2, my spinal injury had only continued to get worse. Today, over a year after these findings, nothing has been done to fix these issues. I am still advocating for myself and my physical wellbeing, in hopes that someone will hear my pleas and give me the treatment I need.

I hope my story inspires you to speak up about the problems you are facing in your own life, and in your own body. There is no one who knows how you feel better than yourself.

Be strong. Be brave. Be LOUD.

And as always, live beyond limits.